Battle Scars

(PostSecret card I read on Frank's blog and I also share this secret.)

“I survived because I was tougher than anybody else” -Bette Davis

I am a survivor... Have been since the day i was born. everything has been a uphill battle but i came out fighting. The first of many was the story of my rather large scar... Those of you who know me have probably caught a glimpse of it, some have asked how i got it others just looked at it confused.

Growing up i always had this scar across my stomach. I always had it and i just thought it was normal and thought nothing of it really. None of my family acted weird about it, so i kinda thought everyone had one up until i was about 7. My Dad used to call it my smiley face because when i got it it brought a smile to him. Never knew what that meant and I never really asked about my scar. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Well then Jr. High hit...


You know the age where you start to change for gym class... yeah not so cool for me. I remember the first day i went to change my shirt and the locker room fell quiet. I noticed this and all eyes were on me. Talk about self confidence hit the floor. "What" i asked thinking i had something on my face. But everyone was looking at my stomach till a loud girl who was in my circle of friends at the time said Rather loudly. "what is with your stomach?" Yeah i looked down and shrugged "Oh. that's nothing." i said as i quickly got dressed bu some people don't know when to stop. she kept asking and asking and well it was none of her business and really I didn't know the answer. So to cover it up I made up a story. Everyone knew I moved from the Cleveland area so I made up some story i was in a knife fight. they ate it up and believed every word. Dude I was 10 WTF? People are rather dumb sometimes lol.

Well i was rather upset about it and came home basically crying. I explained to my mom what happened and she sighed. She hugged me in that motherly way that made everything feel so much better. She then explained to me about my smiley face. She explained I had this condition when I was 6 months old. It was called a diaphragmic hernia. I was common in toddler boys but rare in girls of my age. Long story short I had a low survival rate but some how I made it through with only that scar. I learned later in life my mother blamed herself for my condition since she had such a hard time getting pregnant... It wasn't her fault it was just a freak thing that just happened to us. My dad came home from work later and my mother told him about what happened. Her sat beside and explained to never be ashamed of that scar. Because without it, i wouldn't be her right now. I never really got how serious my surgery was till i was older and actually googled it. When i try to explain it to friends or other people who see the scar I basically explain my insides were not where they were supposed to be...

As you can see i was a mess. The hernia also caused my lung to collapse where I have another tiny scar. It also gave me asthma later Ron in life but i out grew it a bit.but when I get a chest cold it's horrible. But anyways back to the locker room. So every year in gym I'd always have one person ask, or at a slumber party. I simply started to make up stories, I had fun with my scar. One year was the year the movie twister came out. so i said i was simply in a tornado and a hub cap came and sliced my stomach. another was i got hit by a car and that's where the grill hit me. there was i was c-sectioned and they cut to far. But the best was with me and my sister had a girl at work believing this story. I was a Siamese twin and my twin "Landon" was under developed. they cut his leg from me his toe was between my liver and gallbladder. We had this girl going for about 15 minutes and she finally said "no your lieing." my sister then said "show her your scar Aub." which I did and I think the girl almost had a heart attack.

So i learned to have fun with my scar, I'm still self conscious about it. The stares I get when I go swimming or change... I tend to freak people out about it like my guy friends who once were jocking about how they wanted a really cool scar across their stomach. I replied with "Like this" and their jaws hit the floor and they would point saying... "yeah just like that." Every time I feel bad about it i try and think about what my dad said all those years ago. without it i wouldn't be here. So god wanted me here. He let my parents conceive me and then faced with this life threatening condition I still survived. god had a plan and he was making us stronger and closer as a family. He was making me stronger as a person. Showing you don't need to be perfect to be happy. you can have a funky stomach scar and have fun with it, you can embrace it and wear it proud cause it's my Battle Scar. No one else can take that away from me... It's my reminder I am here for a reason. I might not kno what it is yet but God had a plan for me.

                                 

This is my Scar that saved my life and reminds me I have a purpose in life... It's pretty cool looking and makes me look all hardcore!

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